Revisiting Memories

Here is a poem I didn't even know existed till today. It mentions me and my changing names the week these high schoolers from Nashua, NH were building with us in Baton Rouge LA. Written by Michelle Cascio with assistance from her class mates I'm sure.

Baton rouge memory poem


Hammers banging, muscles tearing
PDQ and story sharing

Amid the toil, sweat and tears,
We over came our many fears

We made possible home ownerships,
While starting new friendships

Sable t-shirts, bright white sunlight,
Blood-red sunburns, purple bonds tight.

Up onto the house the tresses did go
With a few grunts and a bellowing “HO!”

We started out being quite scared
But all our work showed we really cared

Knowing us people so small can accomplish so much
We were rewarded with the family’s lives that we touched

Mystery lunches but expensive dinners
After just four days we are no longer beginners

Name tags mimicking almost nothing sensible,
All these new memories are indispensable.

The thoughts we thought, the stories we share,
Such good friendships are always rare.

Spilled soda, broken beds and no hot showers
Who would have known it would have been worth the hours

Bruises and burns and lots of sweat
That I’d enjoy it so much, I’d never have bet.

As the sunburns got worse, and all started peeling,
Jose taped a fudge round up on the ceiling.

As we swung the hammer high in the air
Every swing became precious and rare.

As we speak to the friends who sat at home, bored,
We are proud to say that we paid it forward.

The thought of Lockwood with a few fudge rounds
Is almost as funny as Lemay with so many throwdowns

Dormitory smells of moldy towels, stale fritos and sweaty feet
Dormitory shower stalls raining as cold as sleet

Out daily morning journey to Cypress Glen
Working hard with Sally, Cassandra, Kali and Texas men.

Tangela and Eunola we know for a fact
Will long remember this group of “Big Cats with Hard Hats.”

Walmart and catfish and getting lost
Turtles and gators and long plane rides
Raining and knockout and car rides galore
This has been fun and so much more.

I can’t believe the bonds we’ve made
And these memories will never fade.

These tears that run upon my face
Because we have to leave this place

The nights were never silent in the boy’s dorm
We were all so crazy, far from the norm

The mass and clutter was like no other
We did alright without having a mother

We became close and formed a bond so strong
This one will last oh so long.

update: Alex's Lemonade Stand Bake for a Cure

Thank you for your support of my fundraiser for Alex's Lemonade Stand. Through selling my baked goods we raised $240. I would like to continue this effort through the next several months, by offering a select few goods to be sold each month.

February will be Red velvet cake cupcakes or Sweetheart Cinnamon raisin bread.
March will feature Traditional Irish Breads, Soda bread or Honey-wheat oat Bread.

Donations will continue to be freewill. Orders for each month will be delivered the third Sunday of the month, unless requested otherwise. As always, Special orders for dietary requirements or special occasions will always be accepted. Please make your orders by the second Sunday of the month.

Finding energy

An important and often under noticed effect of Job hunting is the incredible amount of both emotional and physical energy it takes. I have found that in the last 2 months my energy has fluctuated an incredible amount from stupendous highs to valley's so low that even the dead sea (The lowest point on the earth) is not low enough.

In conversation with friends we have come up with four necessary practices to maintain a healthy energy level needed to continue your search with a clear mind.

1. Exercise your body. This doesn't mean you need to go out and run a few miles. I simply take a walk for about an hour every day or take some time to do yoga at home. When you are looking for a job funds are almost always tight so the emphasis is on activities that you can easily access at any time of day. If it's raining, grab a rain coat or umbrella and start splashing in the puddles. Or have a dance party in your living room to your favorite tunes.

2. Be Creative. I choose knitting and playing guitar. Some of my friends really enjoy beading, painting, singing, and cooking. The feelings of accomplishment, which wane the longer the job search goes, are necessary for exuding a positive and powerful self at interviews and on cover letters. The outputs coupled with creative activity is incredibly fulfilling, making a sense of accomplishment available every day. This creative activity can be anything from getting a block of clay and continually reshaping it or cooking up your Aunt's recipe for Vegetable soup.

3. Find peace. I chose spiritual practices of writing poetry, songs and singing. I also love meditating, or simply resting in silence(good to combine with my knitting). I like the smile meditation which is to envision your whole body smiling, even your liver. (Mentioned in "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert) You could also find a good book of poetry, or simply a great story, like that of inspirational leaders. (check out your local library, it's free.) My friend is reading about Shamanism, and another about Buddhist practices of prayer. I like the prayers of Thich Nhat Hahn.

4. Friends. Rest in the comfort of friends or family. You don't need to spend money to hang out with your friends. I like watching our favorite T.V. show together, or meandering through the farmers market. Sometimes just a lazy afternoon at the park reading our favorite books, is a great restful day.

Hope still reigns as yet another night comes.

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: You don't give up.
~Anne Lamott

I often look at my life like a beautiful novel or movie in progression. At this moment in my journey the pages are heavy with hope, that each day something beautiful is a step closer. However each day the simple beauty of just being in the waiting place must be recorded.

There are those that continue to meet in basements and living rooms to work towards the hopeful future. These people are the ones who will always see your smile even as you cannot see it. The people who continue to encourage you to keep marching even though others in the waiting place are erecting new barriers of doubt and remorse.

May we each have a dutiful team that erects images of our victories just as we fall into their arms from yet another doubt filled day.

Can there be such a thing as hopeful doubt? I think that hope would not be as tough if there was not doubt. It is like that moment in Beautiful Mind, where Russell Crowe is being aked if he still sees the phantoms. He says yes, but I simply ignore them. I think that like his phantoms, yes I still see doubt, but I try desperatly to ignore it. Some moments are harder than others, but in the end, Hope will always win.